Monday, December 15, 2008

Searching for the Mark

You miss the mark. A wisp of an idea, a whisper, a breath during these happy, creative days. Cookie baking and Christmas carols. You miss the mark. Stories and puzzles in front of the fireplace. Hot chocolate. Presents...storebought and homemade. You miss the mark.

This unrest grows and swells until, finally "How? How am I missing?" I look into the lives of others and am not found wanting in giving or worship.

Child, look to Me.

I look. I fall short. I miss the mark.

In worship. You attend to many things but only one thing is needed. I have this complaint against your family. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! In giving. You bring buckets of water to full wells and spare only a few drops for me.

My heart breaks and into the wreckage He pours out His plan to finish well this season.

For worship: We put aside Isaiah for a time and begin the Jesse tree devotional. A soothing balm. A right turning for our wayward souls.

For giving: Silver words challenge. Confront. Words about the very catalog that I glanced through yesterday with callused heart. The catalog in the trash. I sob at my desk and call to the children. John reads aloud. I cannot.

What do You want for your birthday?

I am thirsty. I am hungry. I am cold. Look after my least.

So we gather again around this screen and make plans to forgo the stocking stuffers and look after Him. And in lightening our checkbook to fill other homes with livestock, books, blankets...in the wrestling with the Word... we fill our own hearts with joy. Abundant, delightful, life-giving joy.

6 comments:

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

And through your obedience, you hit the mark....

Xandra

ThyHandHathProvided said...

I watch over things and know that we are 'missing the mark' and yet sit there and do nothing to change it. Thank you for setting an example and helping get me turned around.

As it approaches every year, I struggle with how we (family, culture) 'do' Christmas. I think it is the Spirit calling me toward the mark. And yet, as the season moves forward, I resign myself to worldly ways and the Spirit gets pushed aside. But never silenced- I still hear the whispers. Ignoring them is what I am so ashamed of.

Oh, but He loves us anyway. And like little children we go off and try again to do what we know is right.

40winkzzz said...

Oh boy. I can relate to this post far more than I care to admit. Thanks for the kick in the keister.

Sara Carmichael said...

Both this post and your comment on my post about Santa have left me teary-eyed as I head to bed. It's wonderful having you confirm that what we're doing in that regard is right for our little girls. It's also incredibly beautiful witnessing your own struggle to bring Jesus what He wants most for His birthday. Beautiful and convicting...

Thank you.

Sara

P.S. Sorry for the double comment...I noticed a typo. :)

Jennifer@DoingTheNextThing said...

Thanks for this. :)

Faith said...

Xandra said it well.