Small Scribbles

The Brontes had a mask, one that they could hide behind when telling the truth. The brainchild of a wise father. Sometimes it is hard to tell the truth in the harsh light of day. I've found in my own life some of the best conversations take place under cover of darkness. We're currently testing this theory out on the children. "Hurry. Brush your teeth. Get in your PJs and then it's time for Candlelight Questions." The children scurry out of day clothes and into night. They rush around the house flipping off lights but leave the oil lamps burning on the kitchen table. Someone brings a candle and sets it on the hearth in the living room. The lighter flares in the darkness and ignites the candle's wick. Everyone finds a space on the sofas or the floor. "Are you ready for tonight's question? Who is someone you admire and why?" "I admire JRR Tolkien. He basically spent his whole life with one set of characters." "I admire you and Papa b...

"John! Quick! Get out of your sweats and put on jeans! We're going to be late for bell practice." whine. mumble. moan. "I know you don't like jeans. Too bad. You are old enough to start thinking about proper public attire and sweats don't cut it! whine. mumble. moan. Lauren comes in fresh from the shower with dripping wet hair. "Come here. Your hair is stringy. It will just take a minute to trim off the ends... Charlie! Get your shoes on!... John! Jeans! Jeans!... No, Charlie, take the yellow boots off. Get your sneakers!" "I can't find my sneakers." "What do you mean you can't find them? They should be on the shoe shelf." "I looked. They aren't there." "Look again! Be quick! Don't step in the pile of hair. " "I know where they are, Mom." "Faith, you haven't brushed your hair yet! Come on !" "I will, Mom, but I know where Charlie's shoes are. Superman is wearin...

"Have you taken a picture yet?" Stuart asked me this when he walked in the door around dinner time. I had the counter covered with baking sheets and fajitas. Chicken Fajita Pizzas were on the dinner menu. I'm a one-thing-at-a-time girl and putting pizzas together was my one thing. "Take a picture of what?" "Of the kids. Have you seen the kids?" "Oh. That." I had seen them but it hadn't occured to me that it was a moment. The pizzas, you know. Stuart put down his computer case and, still in his jacket, he grabbed the camera to record the children (re) blackening their faces. Then he pulled brooms from the pantry and equipped each of his chimney sweeps with one. And he didn't even mind that dinner wasn't quite ready or that some of the black came off on the wall around the mirror.

It has been some weeks since I have been able to go to church...travel and hospital and illness detain. Today was no exception. Home with Faith and Charlie. They turned the doll house upside down and got to work arranging a cozy place for their little family. I plowed through the piles in the living room and bedrooms; made beds and washed dishes. Lit some candles to chase away the gloom and sat down with Isaiah. Quiet. A little while later Faith and Charlie joined me in front of the fireplace under a big blanket for their Bible time. Noah and the flood and a year and ten days in the ark with all those animals. I imagined the mess and the closeness. Bible time over, we picked up some stories and set about missing the rest of us and listening for car sounds. Two more stories and the car crunched gravel in the driveway. Books and blanket went flying. "They're home! They're home!" Kids and Papa and groceries tumbled into the house. Bibles scattered over clean countertops....

It was a day. Malaise hung thick in the air affecting children and school work and chores. I hauled the stragglers back to their tasks and felt the weight of responsibility heavy on my shoulders. At eleven I asked John to start getting ready for a doctors appointment. At twelve he was good to go. At twelve-thirty I asked the children to begin getting in the car. By one, all were assembled. Steam gathered between my ears and Charlie cried because he couldn't get his shoes on. I started to wind up for a good tantrum on the highway but refrained. "Guys! We are at the crossroads and and we need to choose the good way. Let's take turns praying that we would choose peace." We did while Charlie cried louder. "John! Help him with his shoes!" Peace eluded. Smack! A stone flew out from under the tread of a tractor trailer and hit the windshield. A round hole remains to tell the tale. Charlie cried, "I need a pillow! My stomach hurts! I want to lie down!" It...

I am never finished. I never arrive or achieve or accomplish. As fast as I begin to get the hang of a thing, another is set out before me to work through. I do not mind this for I love growing beyond myself. The task at hand? Do unto others... A thousand commercials tell me that I am the center of the universe. Billboards, magazines, and my own selfish nature spur me on to grab what I can, spend as much time as I can on serving myself. The end result of self-centeredness is loneliness and dissatisfaction in everything. Join in. This been the relentless message of the past few months. Fortunately the response of friends and neighbors to Charlie's struggle has given me a better direction. We've not lived here long and I often worry. Who can we turn to if we need help? A needless thought. Neighbors rallied and picked up and dropped off childen. People dropped by the hospital. Pastor, neighbors, and our favorite visitor...a young father who just started working for Stuart a few m...

Day Six: Regrouping Five bags in the trunk. 5 medical supplies in a Wal-Mart cart. 5 kids in the car. 5 repetitions of "Are we almost there yet?" High five! Charlie is home! If you are praying: Last night the pediatric ward filled up with children suffering from a nasty stomach virus. Hopefully we did not cart those germs home with us! John has come down with a cold so we are keeping him under quarantine. Charlie's immune system has got to be pretty compromised after seven days on three types of antibiotics. We also have another week of bandage changing ahead of us. The drain has been completely removed but Charlie still has a small open hole in his neck.