We were reading John 6 this morning and we came to the part where Jesus asked his disciples, "You do not want to leave me too, do you?"
Peter responded, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
The kids were impressed with Peter's answer. "How come Peter's like that, Mama? How can he be so awesome sometimes and so stupid at other times?
The power has been blinking on and off at our house for the past week and this is what I drew on for an explanation. "Well, it's kind of like the power around here. You know how everything is running fine and then the power blinks off and a few minutes later it comes back on? Peter is kind of like that. He has great faith but sometimes, under pressure, his faith shuts down for a little while. But the thing about Peter is that his faith, just like our power, always returns."
A few hours later the power went off giving the children a chance to reflect on the lesson of the morning. They've taken to calling our house, Peter's house.
I had a power failure of my own recently. The air conditioning in the car was not working and Stuart took it to the shop to be repaired. "It shouldn't be a big deal," he said. "It's probably just a leaky valve." It was not just a leaky valve. It was the compressor. Easily fixed for $854.00.
This was when I came unplugged. We have enough money for needs but not a lot left over for wants. I had planned to buy a rug for the girls room. But it got preempted by car parts. So I worried. What if we keep having repairs and medical bills like we have had for the past year? What if we run out of money before we run out of bills? This is a ridiculous thought. There are retirement accounts and a savings account and home equity. We are far more than an air compressor away from being on the street. It is too easy for me to make the leap from not being able to afford wants to doubting that our needs will be met. In my thirty-nine years of living there has not been a day where God has failed to meet my needs. Yet I battle this fear time and again.
This is silly. The parentheses of my life...my creation and my eternal life... are already taken care of. Shouldn't I trust God with the details that make up the middle? He is working with me on this. He is pushing me harder to trust Him. He's opening my eyes to recognize the times when my faith goes on the blink. This time I fought back. This time I said no to panic. A few days later an unexpected check arrived in the mail. Not for $854.00 but the amount was unimportant. I think it was God's way of saying, You look to Stuart's job for your provision. Don't you realize that everything comes through my hands? See? I can take care of you. And He does.